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I need a fast forward button.

or a two months skip.

Porcupine Tree - Collapse the Light Into Earth


I won't shiver in the cold
I won't let the shadows take their toll
I won't cover my head in the dark
And I won't forget you when we part

Collapse the Light Into Earth

I won't heal given time
I won't try to change your mind
I won't feel better in the cold light of day
But I wouldn't stop you if you wanted to stay

Collapse the Light Into Earth

I picked the song for my friend's short film by that time i just thought it suited the film well.
I just realized, it was beautifully written.

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The Ultimate Wish-List

- The Magic Eight Ball, yepp its classic.....stocking stuff-able..
- Higher GRE score.
- 600+ TOEFL
- Get in to RISD and Columbia

ok those are not...lets be a little more materialistic

- New Oven for the kitchen
- Cook Books
- Architectural/design/art Books
- A coffee machine
- CDs
- new ipod
- a xinming doll
- Ck in2you, maybe id already have it
- a watch , the exact same one that i got.
- a new set of small talk....im not up the new phone, yet.
- Art supplies
- New diary
- Note books2 sketch pad
- new matchbox 20 cds
- Incubus concert ticket
- new decent boyfriend
more...later...i kinda forget what i want.

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I love this song!!

Die mother fucker die - Get Set Go

Die, mother fucker die
I want to see you cry
And then I'll watch you die

I want to hurt you, torture and desert you
Take a hot poker and stick it where the Sun don't shine..then watch you die

Cause I, I'm having a bad day
So get out of my way
Or you will pay and you'll pay with your Life

I, I'm having a bad day
So what else can I say
I just wanna kill and be killed just the Same

Cause my day sucks ass

Die, mother fucker die
I'll burn out both your eyes
And fill the sockets full of lye

I'll carve out your skull and turn into a
Bowl that I'll eat cereal with while I Watch the Flinstones
And I, I'll do it with a smile

I should have done thid long time ago.

all of the sudden I feel like crying....
the thought of leaving just everything...
You make it clear that im out of yor life, then Ill be out of your life.
You never there when I need you to, you didnt even answer my call, in fact, you are not even my friend, not anymore. I dont deserve being treat like this. Its hard pretending that you are not exist but, as it seems easy for you then , i guess i ll do the same.

Im sad and crying....and i still have no idea what i have done to you to deserve this. and i dont need to know. I'm not gonna stick around for that, and im not that kind and good of a person to wish you good luck. Youve been abandoned me and actually i should have been pissed and knocking at your door waiting to kick your ass, yeah as a friend I get the right to do so. So whatever the fuck you do...

at least i thinkk we were once friend and for the sake of that...i think i deserve to be treat a little nicer than this! or youve been pretending all along just to get what you want, just like everyone else said. And Im just a fool to believe in you, damn right i always believe in you, well untill yesterday.

As I said im not that nice kind of a person, i am furious and pissed and i condemn you and everything you do. and I never wish to see you again.

One day you will think of me and realize that im already gone.

Another

yet another day from sun up to sun down.

Feel like crying in any moment but I cant actually cry... weird.
I'm saddened by the combination of all the situation.

I give up.

I guess you dont want to talk to me anymore, so I stop.

The party was funnnnn....

and I was a little drunk.

Many people showed up last night, and the place was packed. Now I'm tired.
Skip my work to study,
being here @ SIIT library for whole day.

plan to eat dinner with bat and Kik.
should be fun....

nothing else to do....

been trying not to think about you. but I cant.
its exhauted.


I cant do it, the way you do it. I'm too tired and I am scared.

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Singing a long while driving this morning. Somehow i feel like posting it here.
Its the song of the moment ... yeah..the moment.






Love Hurts - Incubus

Tonight we drink to youth
& holding fast to truth. (I don’t want to lose what I had as a boy.)
My heart still has a beat
but love is now a feat (as common as a cold day in LA.)
Sometimes when I’m alone, I wonder/is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing?
Love hurts…
but sometimes it’s a good hurt & it feels like I’m alive.
Love sings
when it transcends the bad things.
Have a heart & try me, ‘cause without love I won’t survive.
I’m fettered & abused
I stand naked & accused. (should I surface this one man submarine?)
I only want the truth
So tonight we drink to youth! (I’ll never lose what I had as a boy.)
Sometimes when I’m alone, I wonder
is there a spell that I am under/keeping me from seeing the real thing?
Love hurts…
but sometimes it’s a good hurt & it feels like I’m alive.
Love sings
when it transcends the bad things. Have a heart & try me,
‘cause without love I won’t survive.

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Stuff I gotta do:

- Going to the wallpaper dealer, changing mom's wallpaper.
- Go to Paragon for the room interior, final draft...pay and construct...- -"
- CE Party on Thursday.
- Pick Dr. Krishna recommendation.
- See Dr. Winyu or Dr Pruettha for the recommendation.
- Talk to Dr Mongkut.
- Ask Dr Krishna about the settlement test.
- Study for GRE.
- Get the starry night paint framed.
- looking for bed...for the room.
- Sign up for art classes.
- Touch up the old portfolio.
- Room decoration on Saturday: wallpaper and kitchen equipments.
- Sunday: air-con.
- Prepare to move.
- Get gas, before it runs empty.
- Bring the drawing board from home, books and catalog.
- RC book and structural Analysis for work.
- Clear working space at the office...throw away the stuff that doesnt really belong to me.
- Pick up transcript.
- Pay phone bill, checking out the new promotion.
- Make flashcard.
- Make up for GRE; call Xina.
- File the application for UPenn and RISD
- Review Essay; statement of purpose.
- Get books from Tan.

Im's Keep-a-list.
- New Matchbox2o Album.
- Lifehouse' new album.
- RAM for mac.
- Mobile.
- JJ Market.
- smalltalk.
- that Xinming dog pushy
- Frank Lloyd wright book: the Architect.
- Markers; lots of them.
- Blank CDs.
- Tablet: and learn the proper use of illustrator.

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I really do!!

Make Me Over - Lifehouse
Wrap my arms
Around your name
Feel your breath
Against my pain
As i breathe out the past is gone

Empty smile
Naked heart
Who I Was
Falls apart
When you're here inside of me

Feel till you're numb
Depth perception becoming
The new deaf & dumb

I'm losing myself just to find a place in your mind
In your mind
Changing myself just to stand along in your eyes
In your eyes... pull me in
Take me out
Make me over

Read the wave
Ride your fears
In this ocean of years
We've been here, swimming on

Take me deep
Till I find
Every corner of your mind
We've been here, swimming on

Touch till you taste
All the time we are wasting
Alone, waiting here

I'm losing myself just to find a place in your mind
In your mind
Changing myself just to stand
Alone in your eyes
Your eyes...
Pull me in
Take me out
Make me over and shout me out loud
Shout me out loud

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I want the new Lifehouse album!

Broken - Lifehouse
The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain is there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain is there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm handin' on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm handing on to the words you say
You said that I will be ok

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home